Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I need water and some morals
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize