i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
