yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
