yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
