If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She's the barista slut.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
