sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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