he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
