I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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