Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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