There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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