Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
