what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
