Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
