whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
