And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
