I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
