is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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