yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
