that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
