The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
