That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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