My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
