She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
