I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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