Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
