Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
