We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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