I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Someone came in the potted fern
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
