Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
