i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
