grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
