I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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