if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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