I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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