I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
