is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize