apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
