If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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