Don't make out with my wife yet
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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