So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
