just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
