NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
being pregnant is like rehab
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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