I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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