3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
