I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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