I hope mine doesn't look like that
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
