Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
