in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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