umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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