Princesses don't give blow jobs
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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