OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
