well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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