Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
