Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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