We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
